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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29986293">things are always a little fucked in ancient greece</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/shroomcritic/pseuds/shroomcritic'>shroomcritic</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dream SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Minecraft (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anyways, Gen, and then it all spiraled from there, and then someone replied to an old ao3 comment of mine, but if there is please tell me, i don't think there's anything particularly triggering in this work, i hate it here sometimes i really do, look i was gonna work on my other fic i swear, sighs, they're tragic best friends your honor, this is for you rivalstwt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:00:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,108</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29986293</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/shroomcritic/pseuds/shroomcritic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"In Greek legend, a celebrated pair of friends named Damon and Pythias came to signify the willingness to sacrifice oneself for the sake of a friend. When one of the two friends, Pythias, is condemned to death by Dionysius I, tyrant of Syracuse, he asks to be granted time to put his affairs in order. Dionysius refuses until the other of the two offers to die in his stead if he doesn’t return at the appointed time. When the condemned man returns at the appointed time, Dionysius is so moved by their friendship that he releases both."</p><p>Techno doesn't think that his Pythias will truly ever be free.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clay | Dream &amp; Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream &amp; Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream &amp; Technoblade Friendship, Clay | Dream &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), No Romantic Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>100</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>things are always a little fucked in ancient greece</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catnip787/gifts">Catnip787</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>dream is a simple man. he just wanted peace.</p><p>really.</p><p>sure, some may argue that murdering his friends in a rigged obsidian room and shooting them dead with poison-tipped arrows aren’t exactly the most “peaceful” of actions, but those small semantics were irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. he’s given them their independence after practically fucking his own server over. </p><p>surely, things would’ve settled down by now. </p><p>but of course, he had to whitelist an alcoholic goat man. and that’s when things started going downhill again. </p><p>dream should’ve just shot tommy dead on that bridge where he was standing all those years ago. trust the server admin to make the bad decisions. </p><p>that little fucking gremlin. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em> “sapnap, i’ve told you already- no, put that fucking flint down and listen to me-” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>despite the admin’s pleads, the self-proclaimed server arsonist pays no mind to his best friend of nine years, only shooting dream a shit-eating grin and runs out through one of the doors of the community house. dream hates his job sometimes. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"don’t burn down the forests near ponk’s house! you know what happened last time with the lemon tree!” dream yells out the door. a crazed cackle echoes from outside the community house in reply, and dream can’t help but smile. he makes a move to stand up, and his sides ache as he stretches out his sore limbs. his pocket vibrates.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> huh. he swears he silenced his communicator a few hours ago. but he pulls it out of his pockets anyways, and is greeted with a barrage of frantic messages, all capitalized. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>DREAM </em>
</p><p>
  <em> DREAM </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“now who could that be,” dream chuckles. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>BITCHBOY </em>
</p><p>
  <em> MEET ME AT THE BECNH </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I KNOW YOU CAN SEE THIS YOU DICK </em>
</p><p>
  <em> PUSSY  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> THIS IS AN VERY IMPOSTANT MATTER  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>dream pockets the device and gives a deep sigh. seems like big man tommyinnit wants something again. that’s fine, he wasn’t busy at all. he definitely didn’t plan to go visit niki or anything today. sorting out the glitched code on the other fucking side of the main smp, what’s that? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> dream grabs his cloak from one of the hooks on the way out and secures his mask. he pulls up a holographic screen, and with the tap of a few buttons, dissipates into thin air.  </em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em> dream pops back a ways from the community house, dropping in front of a shabby dirt hut, his boots colliding on the prime path beneath his feet. “you rang, tommy?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> a scoff is heard all the way from the bench. a kid, no more than sixteen, turns his head back to stare at dream. the latter lets out a light laugh, and makes his way over to the rickety oak seat, ruffling the blond’s hair as he sits down next to him. “what do you want this time?” </em>
</p><p><em> “well first off, big man,” tommy mocks. “i appreciate the </em> <b> <em>enthusiasm</em> </b> <em> here. y’know, you’re still in my good graces despite killing me two times-” dream winces. “-so i decided i’d talk to you, catch up a bit.” </em></p><p>
  <em> the teen finishes his grand declaration of friendship with a grin, one that spans from side to side, taking up the entirety of his face, practically blinding dream at this point. and prime, maybe dream is old, but this kid’s teenage charm is off the charts at this rate. dream can already feel his soul aging from the pure light emanating from this scrawny little kid soldier’s smile. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> he doesn’t like where this is going.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “tommy.” dream folds his arms behind his head, closing his eyes and looking up at the clear skies above for some holy assistance, because no mere mortal can handle tommyinnit in this state. “you clearly want something, so please just spit it out at this rate. you know i hate beating around the bush.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> tommy’s smile sours, and a scowl is now on his face, and dream wants to plug his ears and just sit in blissful ignorance because now tommy is opening his mouth to speak and dream can tell the teen is going to start- </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “you know dream, i actually do like being friends with you believe it or not. i was going to forgive you, and now you have to pull out this card. tommy wants this, tommy wants that. ‘mememememe’ that’s all i ever hear from you. i bet you think you’re so smart. i’m like a saint and all that, all i wanted was to ask if you could please reconsider whitelisting a good friend of mine on the server, but of course you had to go all fuzzy and shit and think i’m asking for a favor. what is the matter with you-” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> dream pulls up his admin screen once again, the projection manifesting from thin air with a crackling boom, and types in a few words.  </em>
</p><p><b> <em>&gt; </em> </b> <b>whitelist add jschlatt</b></p><p>
  <em> “there. happy?” the audible yammering from the teen has now stopped, and dream doesn’t even have to look over at this point because he can feel the blond’s stare from here.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “you, uh-” tommy hesitates. “you actually did it.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> dream sighs, and opens one eye, looking at the child beside him. “look, you’ve been asking for weeks. fucking weeks tommy, my resolve isn’t that strong to resist your ‘impeccable’ persuasion skills for that long. if this stupid goat man who tried to monopolize the entire server the first time he came on makes you happy, then i suppose i can-” but dream doesn’t get to finish his sentence, because a giant weight rams into his side, with gangly arms and all, wrapping around his torso, and dream can’t help but let out a surprised noise. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “thank you thank you thank you dream big man i’m sorry i ever doubted you you’re the fucking best holy shit this is going to be so cool thank you good fuck you won’t regret this dream i swear,” tommy goes on and on, muttering speedy appreciations and thank you’s into dream’s chest. the server admin lets out a small smile behind his mask, one that no one will ever see, and wraps his arms around the kid. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> he listens to tommy’s prattling for the rest of the day.  </em>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>l’manburg’s flag thrashes in the wind. dream knows the server is getting thrown off-kilter. there are cracks he feels on his skin, and they ripple deep in the ground beneath him. he stares into the new president of l’manburg, and he wishes he never sat on that bench that day. </p><p>“my first decree, as president-” he wishes tommy never directed that smile at him. “-the EMPEROR, of this great nation. is to REVOKE, the citizenship!”</p><p>“he's gonna exile tommy and wilbur,” dream whispers to himself. </p><p>“of <em> tommyinnit </em> and <em> wilbursoot.</em>” </p><p>arrows rain down below, and he feels them sear into his skin and they add another ugly gash into his world. he gets up from his small perch on the l’manburg walls, dusting off his pants, and disappears again. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>techno is a pretty selfish man. he just wanted to do simple things, like plant potatoes and stab innocent civilians.</p><p>really. </p><p>sure, some may argue that refusing an invitation for the most infamous smp server-wide for months and then joining because a sixteen-year-old asked him, immediately starting a revolution that fights against tyrannical governments and helping out people who aren’t even technically his blood family isn’t the most “selfish” of things. and yeah, techno agrees. he can be nice from time to time. techno helping someone is a choice that requires careful thought. he doesn’t give out charity just here and there. he’s not that generous. he's not willing to help anyone at the snap of a finger. it doesn’t fucking mean anyone can just barge into one of his old bases while he’s trying to relax and ask for stupid favors. and ender <em> forbid, </em>the person who barged into his old base be the server admin. </p><p>but there he is anyway. manhunt champion, infamous speedrunner, and owner of the dsmp, sopping wet and loosely holding a chipped mug by his side helplessly. standing in front of <em> techno</em>.</p><p>“is that, are those <em> bunny slippers</em>?”</p><p>“shut up right now. i’m not even kidding,” dream says, shooting a look at his rival while wringing out seawater from his fleece bathrobe. <em> a fucking bathrobe, holy shit this is the best day of techno’s </em> <b> <em>life</em></b><em>- </em></p><p>“dream, my friend. my most loyal warrior compatriot, perhaps it’s escaped your brilliant mind, but it’s four in the morning. you’re still in your pajamas. i’m all for skipping sleep but what are you doing-”</p><p>“why do you have a water elevator as the entrance to your secret base?”</p><p>“i didn’t have time to design something masterful and architecturally sound for a secret base. i can get in and out, that’s what matters. now, why are you in my base?” </p><p>dream gives up on trying to dry his robes and instead holds up his mug silently. techno stares.</p><p>dream gestures with the mug, but his efforts are clearly hopeless if the look on techno’s face is anything to go by. he sighs again, he sighs a lot on this server. “cocoa beans.”</p><p>
  <em> what. </em>
</p><p>techno pinches the bridge of his nose. “so let me get this straight-” he levels dream with the most incredulous look he can muster. “-you broke into my old base, woke me up while i was getting ready to relax for the first time in months, at four in the morning, for-”</p><p>techno gives dream’s mug the stink eye. <em> does that mug say “big daddy” or is that just techno’s eyesight going? </em>“dream, why on prime’s green earth, would you think that the <em> blood god </em> has <em> cocoa beans </em> in his old, forgotten secret base?” </p><p>dream flaps his arms around in a frenzy. “look! i don’t fucking know either! do you have a fucking cup of cocoa beans to make coffee or not?” techno can feel his life force draining at the sight of the server admin throwing a fit about cocoa beans in his old house. why didn’t he get paid for this, what’d he do wrong in his life?</p><p>techno walks over and sets a firm hand on dream’s shoulder, looking directly into his friend’s maskless face. frustrated jade eyes battle with crimson. frustration turns into pure exhaustion, and the jade concedes. the two rivals slump to the floor in a heap. they spread out next to each other, and look up at the dripping ceiling of the small cave.</p><p>it’s quiet.</p><p>“y’know, wilbur asked me for tnt,” dream murmurs besides techno. </p><p>they both really wish it wasn’t quiet. </p><p>“he wants to blow up l’manburg. and he thought of me for something like that. fucking insane.”</p><p>“yeah,” techno whispers.</p><p>dream shifts, and he comes face to face with the only man who has ever defeated him. techno’s eyes have never looked so dull until now. he’s opening and closing his mouth wordlessly seeing the look on dream’s face.</p><p>he asks one question.</p><p> “why do you need cocoa beans so badly?”</p><p>dream turns his head back up and laughs softly. “can’t you tell?” </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>hot magma crackles and pops around pandora’s box, prison cell A. </p><p>“you have a visitor.” the inmate’s head perks up at the sound of sam’s voice. </p><p>“really now?” dream hums. there’s no response again, except a slight static that lets dream know the stoic warden has gone offline. and so he waits. bides his time. he has so much of it. </p><p>the sound of honey blocks and dead slime shuffle across seas of lava. a low rumble from the netherite barrier dropping sounds through the dismal canyon of dark obsidian. </p><p>muted orange meets dulled crimson.</p><p>“y’know, i didn’t expect seeing you here as a visitor, techno.”</p><p>the pink-haired fighter seems out of place in the prison, and dream can’t help but snort at the thought. a hesitant gaze scans the cramped cell. dream puts his hands behind his back and approaches the other. “what?” he goads. “cat got your tongue? you’re usually such a wordsmith, what-”</p><p>techno holds out a bag of cocoa beans.</p><p>“happened…” dream’s words fade. they’re right in front of each other. </p><p>they’ve both sunk to the ground, the depths of hell burning their scarred knees, and the small pouch of cocoa falls from techno’s hand. there aren’t any blades or axes, no cutthroat remarks or simmering looks challenging each other. not anymore. “dream,” techno breathes. “please, why do you need cocoa beans so badly?” </p><p>“can’t you tell?” dream laughs, a sob wracks its way up his throat and techno reaches out with scorched fingers, and he holds his rival who lost his final battle so beautifully.</p><p>“i’m tired.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ayo catnip. we don't fucking know each other. but still, this one is for you. also rivalstwt. i'm making it my lifelong goal to incorporate stinky green blob and pig friendship into every fucking fic i can. this was meant to be a crack fic btw, i was gonna put in "your mama" jokes (courtesy of tommyinnit) and then something happened idek. take care of yourselves, drink some water if you haven't already! mwah &lt;2</p><p>also, thank you to the wonderful @downthedarkpath once again for being my beta-reader! you are such a cool fucking mom. here's her profile. please go check out her work, and especially check her most recent fic, brought tears to my eyes <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/downthedarkpath"> here</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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